Like You Didn't Already Know the Internet Is A Pretty Strange Place
. . . I mean, you're here, aren't you?
. . . I mean, you're here, aren't you?
So I was aware there were BSC-related twitter accounts. I thought the concept was fairly amusing, especially when I found myself listed on maryanne_spier's "girlsiwishwereinthebsc" list (caption: "If these girls lived in Stoneybrook I'm sure we'd be best friends!"). I chuckled. I wondered how many eyerolls I'd get away with before they staged a sarcasm intervention. ("Kim, we're worried that you're not being sincere when you say hello to your friends. You haven't even updated your Kid Kit lately!") I thoughtfully (read: two martinis deep, finding myself hilarious) answered a tumblr question about whether I'd rather live with Mary Anne or Claudia.
Then I woke up around 4:00 a.m. the other night. I was sick. I could get into the snotty details, but you've all had colds before and you don't really care. I never ended up falling back asleep. Instead - and Isweartogodreallythishappened - I heard a cat inside my apartment.
I don't own a cat. Clearly, there was only one explanation.
Yup. My apartment is haunted. Luckily, I had my iPod touch handy. In the interest of ghostbusting, I tweeted this little gem:
I congratulated myself on my wit and ability to reference books I should've forgotten long ago, and figured that was that. Until I saw this reply: 
I'll have you know that the laundry room in my building is a basement that's straight out of Silence of the Lambs. I can only conclude that Dawn Schafer is trying to have me killed. Probably because I make fun of her so often.Should I tweet back and tell her I'm sorry for all the jokes, and I recycle on a regular basis? Should I put the organic lotion in the handwoven basket? What do I do, internet? What do I do?
I've retained a troubling amount of information about books I read during my childhood.
Bloglovin feed
31 comments
There's only one way to get her to forget and forgive: ask her for styling tips so you too can rock the California Casual look. Nothing makes a girl's heart melt like explaining to her new bestie how to wear a denim jackiet with denim jeans.
by HelenB on 1:07 AM. #
Heh. I've been tweeting back and forth with Mary Anne Spier. I'm also in that "girlsIwishwereinthebsc" list. Yeah babysitters club obsession!
by Sadako on 3:11 AM. #
Maybe you can get on her good side by going militantly vegan for a while?
by Ms Avery on 6:12 AM. #
Give Dawn a container herb garden as a sign of goodwill, just like she gave her annoyed neighbor in the BSC movie.
by a.flower.at.fall.of.frost on 12:28 PM. #
The above suggestions sound good. Also, ask her about being bicoastal, and tell her a good ghost story or two.
by Julie on 12:48 PM. #
Remind her that suggestions like that one are the reason so many California girls go missing in said horror-movie basements, and then politely decline.
by LUX on 12:55 PM. #
That's amazing -- I knew there were Mad Men twitter accounts, but that's hilarious.
You should ask Dawn to let you see the haunted passageway in her house and search for Jared Mullray together.
- JoAnn, Sidewalk Chalk
by Sidewalk Chic on 2:34 PM. #
Dear god, I've been vacillating on whether to Tweet. But um. girlsiwishwereinthebsc? Yeah, I'm fucking there!
by nikki on 3:43 PM. #
You could also offer to help Sharon get organized for the new year... I'm sure Dawn would appreciate the time saved looking for Mom's keys in the fridge.
by Megan on 3:55 PM. #
I am so, so glad I found this blog. I am lucky enough to still have most of my BSC books (I lost Mary Anne and Too Many Boys in a vicious swimming pool accident last year) And let me tell you, tofu slaw is the way to Dawn's heart.
by Nina on 9:44 PM. #
She is clearly trying to kill you. I suggest trapping Dawn in her own secret tunnel and then sealing off the entrances, thereby making sure she can never harass anyone about eating meat ever again.
This makes me kind of glad I never get tweeted at by Sweet Valley characters. I make fun of them an awful lot...
by Shannon SVH on 10:38 PM. #
Haha I'm also following them on Twitter. I'm finding it a bit TOO amusing. ;P I remember that book too, actually. I think even my 10 year old self found it totally illogical...
by Sondra on 11:54 PM. #
i love you. pure and simple.
found this blog, promptly became useless, forwarded it to everyone i know. (because naturally everyone i know read BSC - there is no one else worth knowing.)
by Anonymous on 11:58 PM. #
OHMYGODBECKY (er, Kim) I am in love with your blog. I found it via Project Wonderful and was in a fierce bidding war with the current advertiser. I have no words for how amused I am here XD
by Offbeat Follies on 3:13 AM. #
Have you by any chance been secretly dating Travis (#37)? I bet Dawn found out about it and now she's going to kill you. I always kind of suspected that she never truly got over the older boy...
by Amanda on 1:22 PM. #
I just started reading this blog, and I love it! the BSC nostalgia mixed with a modern biting wit, I'm amusing myself too much here.
I actually decided to take Claudia as inspiration (who wouldn't?), and silly photos were born. Check it out!
http://charmalade.blogspot.com/
PS: I suggest you give a tofurkey as a peace offering; if it's a trap, then throw it at Dawn and run away.
by Charmalade on 2:32 PM. #
Have her over for whole-wheat pizza with broccoli and you can giggle about how much junk food Claudia eats - I don't know how her complexion stays so perfect!
by DeathStar Detroit on 11:34 PM. #
Whatever you do, don't put the sweatshirt skirt she in the dryer, even if her stuff has been in there for a while and you need the dryer. That thing will shrink.
Then she'll go all militant on your Earth Day project and you won't want to work with her anymore.
by Syd on 12:02 PM. #
Ask Dawn to teach you how to style your hair like she does (by flipping her head over and brushing underneath then flipping it up so it looks really well groomed. Or not. So California Casual!) Or maybe you could give her a special brownie for Sharon.
Olive
www.VisforOlive.blogspot.com
by Unknown on 8:23 PM. #
oh man, this post...
i just chuckled out loud at work. good stuff.
by Valerie Rojas Braverman on 11:20 AM. #
OMG,the secret passage... totally remembering this stuff.
Love the post!!
by Unknown on 7:14 PM. #
Found this shirt and thought of your blog!
Kristie&Claudia&Mary Anne&Stacey&Dawn.
by Leiah on 2:08 AM. #
You are amazing! I've loved loved loved your blog and your writing since the very beginning (when Meggy showed me your blog,) not to mention how right on you are about Dawn (uber lame and way too easy to make fun of.) I'm scared of twitterDawn. Don't apologize, but can you ask her or Mary Anne if they ever let Jessi & Mallory babysit the 10 year olds they sometimes are called in to babysit for?
Too many sentences ending in prepositions, sorry.
-Jenny (from Fashion for Writers)
by Jenny on 3:53 PM. #
Oh my gosh... this blog just might change my life AND prevent me from ever doing actual work again. Thanks!
by Erin on 5:29 PM. #
Thought you'd enjoy this:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/
reblog as necessary.
by Carlydear on 5:44 PM. #
Um. Ghostcat would never happen to Claudia. Too uncool.
THE REAL PAINTINGS ARE UNDERNEATH THE PAINTINGS.
by The Cosmopolitienne on 5:48 PM. #
Also I just tried searching for the BSC on Twitter so I can get in on this madness and turns out there is a real life person called Dawn Schafer:
http://twitter.com/Dawnschafer
I am CONVINCED this is the real Dawn.
by The Cosmopolitienne on 5:51 PM. #
You have a Silence of the Lambs basement, too?
I lived in my old apartment for three years. The basement was completely Silence of the Lambs-y, and I took to calling it the Basement of Ultimate Evil. My husband had to do all the laundry, ever, because I refused to go down there alone due to the overwhelming feeling of creepy I got every (rare) time I had to.
I later found out that there was a secret passage accessible only by sidling behind the huge, cobwebby furnace and down into the dark behind it. It terminated in a long, dark, windowless room behind the laundry room. I never went in there, but my husband did, and he said that it was empty. A year after we moved out, our old neighbor told us that a homeless man had later been discovered to be squatting back there - the back door to the building that led directly to the basement and the laundry room didn't have a lock, and so he was free to come and go as he pleased.
by Unknown on 8:43 AM. #
It is glad to see this blog, it is good and detailed fun to read this, nice informative blog, Thanks for share this article.
College Term Papers
by Term Papers on 2:46 AM. #
haha, i just found your blog and this is great!
by Shawna @ My Nails Did on 1:09 AM. #
I think you should volunteer to sit with her in the sweaty summer heat and peddle healthy food choices to meat-and-potatoes-Americans, just like in Dawn and Too Many Sitters. :-)
I love this site! I immediately book-marked it. You totally crack me up!
(And I agree - Sharon was TOTALLY high!)
by Carolynne on 7:02 PM. #